February 10, 1992
"LOOKING FOR WORK?" the ad in Drama-Logue shouts in capital letters. A silly question since few people read Drama-Logue for the articles. It continues, defying laws of capitalization and punctuation: "In films, television, commercials, videos, new pilots" That about covers the realm of desirable acting jobs, which I just so happen to be in need of. So what should I do? "CALL ME" is the bold-printed obvious answer. "Casting Director/Consultant Keith Wolfe. This is not a workshop. This is not a showcase." Wait a minute. Are you putting down my newly-found outlet? Showcases have their faults, but don't be so harsh. So what can you do for me? "Keith Wolfe's clients have worked principal roles in movies and television, with such stars as Burt Reynolds, Clint Eastwood, Michelle Pfeiffer, Bruce Willis, Mark Harmon, Patrick Swayze and many more." Wow! He's represented all those superstars!?! Oh, wait. He's helped people who've worked with all those superstars. Maybe it's worth checking out, maybe not. Could this be the big break I need? Well... "Keith Wolfe invites you to spend 30 minutes that could change your life as an actor." Well, that would be cool wouldn't it? "Call today for a free consultation." So, that was a pretty enticing ad. Let's see what else is in this week's Drama-Logue...
"Pilot Season is here!!! Are you ready?" Of course, that's right. It's that time of year everyone talks about when pilots are being shot and there's work for everyone. Except me, it seems. So what can I do? Ah, good, the ad contains personal testimony so I can really feel what people go through. " 'With Keith Wolfe's help I landed a role in a pilot for a new series with Barbara Eden, which got me my SAG card and I have two national commercials running. Thanks Keith.' - Eric Foster. For a free consultation, contact casting director / consultant Keith Wolfe." Boy, this guy helps everyone. I wonder if anyone has made it without his help! Let's see, what else?...
"Looking for an agent?" Ah, now here's something that could certainly help. "The right agent!!!" The punctuation abuse seems all too familiar. "Can make the difference between success of failure." But, you know, nothing beats personal testimony: " 'Thanks to Keith Wolfe I have one of the top agents in L.A. I have also had lead roles in five feature films and just finished a mini series. Keith got me in to see the right people and I highly recommend his service to anyone needing help with their career.' - Craig Slan. This Keith Wolfe guy is amazing, and not just because he can afford to run three separate ads in Drama-Logue, mind you, but because he can get you anything you want and he's 'highly recommended' to boot. "Don't gamble with something as important as your career. Call today."
And so I did. Actually, I called last Friday and set up today's appointment. And in today's hurricane-like weather, I drove into Hollywood to see what Mr. Keith Wolfe could do for me.
Keith is a physically unimposing man to say the least. He is a touch overweight (a true American), and sports one of the most ridiculous hairstyles ever crafted. I must admit that I was surprised that the most powerful man since Jesus didn't have the look of Mr. Super-hip-L.A.-dude-stud. (That's the look I, of course, hope to achieve one day.)
He had four of us there at noon. He called us all in and spoke. "I can open doors for you, get you into interviews, spiel, spiel." Then he gave us each a scene to read with him. Out I went at about 12:15 into the chilly afternoon air. Not until close to 1 did I return to the office to perform my magic. Of course, by then I had the scene memorized. This is not always a help, but this time it worked fine. My reading was swell. We sat and chatted.
The bottom line cash-wise: If I want help finding an agent, he'll invest 6 weeks of his time for $200 and he'll open doors, get me interviews. No guarantees, of course. Or, plan B would involve producers, directors, and casting directors, with whom I would meet, as Keith Wolfe opened doors, got me interviews. That would last for 3 months and cost the tidy sum of $400.
Now what? I'm getting frustrated by the inactivity. What does it take to get out and audition? Is it just a matter of money? Will $400 headshots and a $400 consultant, and $75 a week on showcases get me a job? Or will it just keep his ads running in Drama-Logue?
Keith Wolfe is not listed in the Working Actor's Guide, neither under casting directors, nor consultants. What does that mean?
All of these unanswered questions. What if I had paid Mitch
$150? That would have been money out the window. Oh me, oh my. What
am I to do?