1999 Football Pool Weekly Update
In a simple home in the heart of Waukegan, Illinois, in a house much like any other on the block, there is an 85 year-old woman sitting peacefully in her chair every Sunday watching the National Football League on her television. And every Sunday, the team she has designated to be a winner has been a winner. And maybe to the average onlooker, that doesn't seem like such a fantastic accomplishment. But lo and behold, after six weeks of play, she is the only one out of 140 contestants to perform such a feat, and it has left her the lone leader in the 1999 Football Pool and consequently the early favorite to take it all.
What is her secret? Is it because her late husband played professional sports, playing baseball for the Pirates and White Sox? Is it keen insights and sharp mental abilities that allow her to analyze teams week in and week out? Is it her lovely grandchildren, at least one of whom is on a TV show every Wednesday at 9:30 on ABC, and if you're a Nielsen Family, for God sake, start watching!!?
Whatever it may be, the lovable Julie "Mag" Dickshot is now the subject of much water-cooler conversation. And when asked to comment on her status, the sweet, delicate little old lady had only this to say, "Hi Ho The Dairy-O The 85 Year-Old Cheese Stands Alone!"
She was always more the showpiece than the brains of the family.
Week Six is over, and with its 28 incorrect picks, it brought about the demise of another 12 contestants. A soft 'adieu' to those who have left us. They will not be forgotten. They are Lisa Cerasoli (who, God bless her, was making picks in alphabetical order), Giralo, Lou Kamakaiwi, Craig Kessler (last year's winner), Michael Laskawy, Chris Lund, O'Connell, Rivas, Simons, Speicher, Tandy, Waymire, and one more that I forget.
"I WILL KILL YOU ALL." --JP Manoux (RIP)
These twelve newly dead join the twenty-two festering dead in the
graveyard, leaving the following standings in the population at large...
NO LOSSES -- 1 Grand Dame
ONE LOSS -- 40 Average Folk
TWO LOSSES -- 65 Bums
DEAD -- 34 Bags of Bones
"If I go out because the Browns beat Jacksonville ... I'll be glad because it will mean that the cliche 'Anything is Possible' is true... That is better than having over a thousand dollars in my pocket, that knowledge." --Jeremy Shamos
Week Seven Picks are due. What about Cleveland beating St. Louis? Possible? Sometimes a losing team goes on a tear. Just ask the Philadelphia Eagles. Anyone picking against them this week?
I look forward to your picks, your reasoning, your logic, and your excuses.
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