6C EXT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

Ashley walks with Joe. In contrast to Ashley's trepidation, Joe is pleasant, easy-going -- almost too good to be true.

JOE
Oh, shoot. I was going to get you
a corsage. So we'd remember
'Boyfriend Meets the Family' day.

ASHLEY
I'm sure we'll remember.
(then)
I just hope my family is...
I hope you like them.

JOE
I'm sure I will. After all --

He kisses her.

JOE
They made you, didn't they?

Joe opens the door for Ashley, who steels herself, then they head inside.

6D INT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

ASHLEY
Mom? Dad? We're here.

Dale and Pam enter the room, and Ashley's JAW DROPS. Her parents look completely different than in the video: sharply dressed, neatly groomed. Pam (carrying a tray of drinks) has practically transformed into Martha Stewart; Dale looks like there's nowhere else he'd rather be. They greet Ashley first.

PAM
Honey!

DALE
Hi, sunshine!
(then)
You must be Joe.
Good to meet you.

JOE
(shaking their hands)
Sir... Ma'am...

PAM
I was on my five-mile run this
morning, and I passed a beautiful
lemon tree, so--
(offering)
Help yourself.

Ashley can't believe it.

ASHLEY
You made lemonade? With lemons?

PAM
(good-naturedly)
Well, I was going to make it with
onions, but that didn't seem right.

Joe laughs as he takes a glass. Pam grabs a TRAY from a table.

PAM
And I stayed up late last night to
roll some gnocchi. Don't be shy!

Ashley tries it. Incredibly, it tastes good.

DALE
Joe, Ashley tells us you've been
accepted into a Master's program.

JOE
Yes. I'm going for my MBA.

DALE
Ah, the business of business.

Ashley goes PALE: here comes the Communist propaganda. She tries to head it off.

ASHLEY
Joe's from Ohio, Dad. His family
used to live near a steel mill.

DALE
Well, I hope he goes into
management. With all the new
competition in the world, America
needs the best corporate
executives it can find.

Ashley looks at her dad, surprised.

DALE
Kids? Your sister has someone she
wants you to meet.

Kristen and Rob come in. Kristen's hair is styled, she's made up, and there's no jewelry in her nose or tongue. Rob, sans video camera, is outgoing, engaging. Not the timid guy we saw on the video. Ashley reacts.

ASHLEY
Joe, these are... my brother
and sister

JOE
Good to meet you.

ASHLEY
Kristen, you look... look at you.

Kristen MAKES A MOVE towards her sister, causing Ashley instinctively to FLINCH. Kristen gives Ashley a sisterly HUG. Ashley awkwardly hugs her back.

KRISTEN
(genuine)
Ooh, I'm going to have to borrow
that sweater.

PAM
(to Joe)
They've always been close.

ASHLEY
Rob, where's your camera?

ROB
Left it home. Didn't want the
lens between me and my family.

Ashley nods, not quite accepting the reality of all this.

ROB
Joe, you're just in time for
charades. I've got to warn you.
I've been practicing.

The family heads off, leaving Joe and a stunned Ashley.

JOE
They're not at all like you
described. I love charades.

--written by
Dean Batali & Rob DesHotel

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