October 3, 1991
So far, this marks the low point of my acting career. My one and only interview with an agent and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
I arrived a little early, so he gave me some copy to look at, which I did. Finally, our time rolled around. The person who had been in before me left. I entered his open door. "Are you ready for me now?" I asked.
Already we're off on the wrong foot: "Well, no, I didn't want to... well, since you're there, why don't you sit down?" Having seated, or "sat" you might say, I produced my headshots. "Awful" is the response that I recall. "Get new shots when your old ones run out."
We talk for a minute or two. Harvard, EE, until... "So what do you do?" I can only think this is a trick question. I play it coy yet confident: I don't answer.
He continues, "I mean, besides acting, what do you really do?" I explain my desire to only act and he offers me "the best advice you'll ever hear in this town: Get a job." So, good times are rolling.
I get up to read the copy. I stand and emote the benefits of ROTC to the wall four feet away. One-third of the way through, a door to the office opens. Two people enter the doorway chatting. They say their good-byes and one of them walks through, directly between the agent and me. No apology. No concern. Just straight through. I finish. Mr. Chapman also offers no apology, no concern, he doesn't even deign to mention the occurence as something out of the ordinary. He's too busy mentioning how absurd it is to say "rot-see" instead of "R-O-T-C"
Apparently, I'm good, but I desperately need to take a commercial workshop offered by his buddy. Bad news. He wants me to get rid of my bad habits by participating in a weekend workshop for $250. Real bad news. Then, and only then, he says, will he engage in a 90-day verbal agreement with me, during which time I would go into the office and go through the breakdowns to find what I want to try out for. With that, he extends his hand as if my time were up. I guess there was no question and answer period set aside.
I take the initiative to tell him that I can't guarantee to him that I'll take the class he has recommended. I ask, "Are you saying that if I don't take the class, that you won't represent me?"
He replies, "Oh no, not at all, we'd be happy to work with you regardless." He proceeds to inform me how his twenty years in the business is reason enough to do whatever he says, including the commercial workshop. He apparently doesn't need fresh know-it-alls coming in and telling him how they plan to run their career, because he doesn't want to hear their crocks of shit. He's too busy with his own master plan.
He ties off his sudden tirade on foolish kids by saying that he's giving the advice he knows I need to make it in the business, "End of conversation," as he put it, as he once again extended his arm across his desk, officially asking me to take my shit out of his office.
And so my first exposure to a Hollywood agent was a sad, yet memorable one.
God, I hope I get another call.
Let me record the details:
Jerry Chapman, Fox Talent Agency (213)661-6347
October 8
Left a message
October 14
Left a message
October 16
(finally called between 12 & 1)
I inquired about coming to look at the breakdowns, etc, and he said, "I'm a little confused by that. We only do that with people who are with the agency." I reminded him of our meeting. He said, "Why has it taken you two weeks to get back to me?" I told him of the messages. He said, "I don't deal with machines. I didn't get any messages. I tell everyone to call me between 12 and 1." The bottom line: He doesn't have me on file anywhere. He wants another photo and resume. I will now send him one.
October 23
My friend Mr. Chapman had received my new P/R and letter but told me, "You don't have the right training on your resume." He continued, "Due to the cost of submitting people we can't represent you."
I asked, extremely politely, I thought, "Oh, what is the cost of submitting people?"
He was obviously confused that I used the same exact wording he did, so he replied, "What do you mean?"
I returned, "You said, 'Due to the cost of submitting people, you couldn't represent me.'"
He exploded, "What? You think it's free?" I said nothing. "You got postage, stamps (are these really two different categories?) office rental (they were going to give me an office?), cars (what?), breakdown services, services (which covers all other services, I guess)."
This was the end of my fight. I responded, "I see. Well, thank you very much." At least it's all behind me. Time to re-focus my energy. Onward and upward...