Day 5 -- Friday, April 3

Today I checked the script before leaving the apartment. There was one major change. The "corn monologue" was no more. A moment of silence please.

In its place was the line, "Say what you will, sir, but corn feeds this nation." A little confrontational for the usually-reserved limo driver, but I can handle it. First up for rehearsal was that very scene. When we reached my new line, I hit the brakes, threw the car into park, and turned around to face Nathan, basically yelling at him, "Say what you will, mister! Corn feeds this nation!" and then spun back to David, the director, asking, "Too much?" Now honestly, there was a moment in there where it felt like the whole room had come to a halt. No sound. No movement. No breath. And in that frozen space and time lies the agony of going for such a high-energy goof. Do they know me well enough to get that it is a joke? Will they just be annoyed? Will they think I'm an idiot? And out of that stone-cold silent depth came a very appreciative laugh from everyone in the room. Big hit. Not going to make it on the airwaves, of course, and David requested I bring it down "just a bit," but the joke had succeeded, thank God. It even pumped more life into the already lively limo scene, stepping up the antagonistic relationship between the diva and the lackey. Very fun.

The last group scene in the show had also been rewritten, and by rewritten I mean overhauled. Nathan's character has just returned from his failed attempt to regenerate a career overseas and bursts into the living room to announce his plans to stay. They ran it once and I sat nearby watching, and I realized what it was missing... me. Before they began the second run-through, I said to David, "Not to keep plugging myself, but I'm not sure it's clear that Joey [Nathan] has just returned from the trip. Maybe if the limo driver came in with some bags..." And with that, the limo driver found his way into a fourth scene. No lines, mind you, just a presence, but still...

Wait just one minute. That's the sound of Nathan Lane's voice with an idea for the driver, a possible punch line tucked into the dramatic center of the scene. It's a possibility. We tried to squeeze it in, but couldn't co-ordinate all the beats so it was eliminated. During the producers' run-though, however, it was brought up and got a bit of a chuckle, so maybe the next version will have something there for me. The driver's role is reaching its breaking point, though, I would imagine, so we may not be able to pump this last puff of air into it without an explosion.

And that's it. The limo scenes went well in the producers' run-through and that just about does it for them. They are scheduled to be shot Monday so there's little rehearsal/revision opportunity remaining for them. They just have to survive the weekend. Oh yeah, and then survive the editing room.

Go on to Day 6

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