March 24, 1998
Something's wrong, I think. There was a time, not too long ago, when I could feel everything come together in an audition and the crowd gathered in the room would send me vibes of success as I trod my way through the audition. But today, after I left the room, as I walked out of the building, the same general feeling of mediocrity washed over me and I felt like another one had slipped through my fingers. Ever since that fateful Carly test, I have been firing on one fewer cylinder. I don't think that means I am turning in badauditions, they just don't have the sparkle and crackle that they need to make it all come together. I need to shift this car into fifth and yet I'm still having problems with the clutch.
OK, so maybe it's obvious that I don't really drive a manual transmission very well, so I'm not sure that analogy made sense, but I did the scene today, they did laugh, they did say nice things when I was done, but no one gave me that look or had that tone in their voice that said, "Wow. You really impressed us with what you did and showed us more than we expected." I miss that.
Tomorrow I am going in for a three-line part in a pilot for Jeff Greenberg and the producers of Frasier. Maybe this will help turn it around. (I hope it doesn't drag the Greenberg Blessing down with it!)