March 11, 2002
God bless my new managers for getting me this audition. GEORGE in George of the Jungle II. You can't get any bigger than that. (Maybe JOSIE in Josie and the Pussycats II.) But seriously, it's a big deal audition. I want to make sure I establish how appreciative I am of the audition itself before I mention this:
I didn't go to it.
I didn't just pull a no-show. I spoke with my manager and we discussed the pros and cons and came to an intelligent decision to pass on this audition.
First of all, George? Me? What? Of all my possible skills and/or talents, portraying the king of the jungle is probably not one of them. I don't think my essence screams rugged jungle boy. Second of all, in trying to rehearse the audition scenes, George's stunted speech sounds Native American coming out of my mouth. George of the American Plains I could do. George of the Jungle not so much. Third of all, one of the audition scenes involved, among other things, getting hit in the stomach, holding open a crocodile's mouth, and getting thrown into a wall. For an audition scene. That just isn't friendly. Fourth of all, even if I could somehow overcome all of these obstacles, even if I could become George, even if I could convince America to forget Brendan Fraser for a couple of hours, I don't think I want to make my splash on the American cinematic landscape as a guy in a loincloth in a sequel.
And so I didn't go to it.