March 6, 2002
So I was not out of the running after all, though there must have been a lot of running in the last two weeks without me. I was back in today for what is still my favorite pilot of the season. This time, in addition to the writer and Tony Sepulveda, the casting director, we had a third guest, executive producer of the show, Kevin Bright. It would not be a misnomer to refer to him from now on as Grumpy McGrumperstein.
There was some pre-reading chat, nothing major, a few questions here and there. Everyone seemed very nice and chummy. Then we began. No more chummy. Only chum. I read my first line and as I hit the final word, which is a very funny one, mind you, the casting director began his first line. Not after the final word in my line, but with me, as if I was passing some verbal baton to his awaiting vocal chords.
I was surprised. Fine, I can handle that, keep it inside. No problem. But I was also pissed. Who was auditioning today? Was Tony Sepulveda secretly reading for this part as well? My agent hadn't mentioned that. Or was this audition some sort of race and the first person done with the scene gets the job? If so, I should send Tony a thank-you card for helping me streamline my reading today. What a pal.
I pushed on, but the timing was completely screwed up. There were probably two or three other places in the scene where he did the same thing. I can see why it's so hard for them to find someone who's funny. If the casting director doesn't take the time to give a good reading for the actors, how is anyone going to shine? And meanwhile, our friend Grumpy McGrumperstein had decided that showing any sort of amusement or enjoyment might somehow shorten his life and he just couldn't take that chance. So for the entire audition, he sat in his McGrumpy seat wearing his McGrumpy pants and just took it all silently in. I think I actually may have woken him up to say good-bye when I was done.
And still, at the end of the day, I think I did a great job today. I
don't feel the same regret as last time. Not at all. This was my best
shot (given the circumstances). If they didn't like it, or didn't
like me, or didn't like wearing McGrumpy pants all day, then
whatever. I did my very best.