March 13, 2002
I'm sitting in the lobby awaiting the start of the Network Test. The same three Petersons are assembled from yesterday, plus the surprise appearance of Samwise Gamgee, better known by his human name, Sean Astin. I thought one of my advantages was that no "name actors" were up against me for this role. Apparently, that has changed.
The feelings from yesterday have returned slightly. I think I have identified the source of the problem. I don't like the sides. For auditions that cause less dread, I know where the jokes are, I just have to hit them. In this case, the jokes appear to be there, but often are not, or are so cryptic, a subtle change in the delivery can be the difference between landing it and tanking it. The chances of going into that room and doing badly are much greater as a result. If I don't understand the comedy, it's a crap shoot whether or not I can pull it off. And that's scary. Not "crash your car" scary, but scary.
OK, they just called in the first woman reading for Meg. There are four of them total. Then I am the first Peterson. So only about twenty minutes and it will all finally be over. The relief will be great. The knots in my stomach will go away at last. The constant feeling of being lost at sea will finally be gone.
Unless, of course, I get the job.
My reading was very good. The laughs were there. I hit all the beats I had hoped to. It was probably one of the best auditions I have ever had. Maybe I should get that uneasy before every audition.
Or maybe not. They decided to go with another actor for the role. Not
Sean Astin, but one of the other no-names. So I can't even blame
celebrity for this one. I can blame the fact that we were very
different types, though. And that is what we were told after the
audition. They said that I was playing this character, while the
other guy actually was this character. So much for being able
to act. Apparently it's not such a hot commodity. I was hurt somewhat
by how many people I knew in the room. Perhaps if they hadn't been so
familiar with me, they would have thought I was simply being myself
as well. Turns out making friends is a hindrance to your career. They
don't tell you that in acting class.