March 4, 2002
This was not a pleasant outing. I feel like I did the same thing I did at the original audition, only today it was completely wrong.
I guess that's what comes from making a big choice for a character. I am infinitely more comfortable playing myself for a TV audition. A weekly television audience is not very forgiving when people go against their normal type. I mean, God bless Ted Danson for pulling off the genius that is Becker, but for us mortals, it's not so easy. And I think I proved that today. I began the first scene doing everything I remembered doing two weeks ago. I was stopped almost immediately.
"Make it more real," was the direction.
Yeah, well, guess what? It was never real to begin with. Why did you bring me back here without telling me this ahead of time? I can try it more real. You may or may not like me for the role any more, but if I have the sides all weekend, how about a heads up over the weekend? So I started the scene over again. Fine.
In between the two scenes, the writer suggested that I be even more real.
Now I feel like I'm responsible for making a terrible choice, even though it was encouraged at the first two auditions for this part. It makes a challenging audition even more so because instead of just doing the scene, I'm also trying to keep an eye on the "real" gauge while maintaining the original beats that my interpretation created. It just wasn't very fun. I don't like feeling like I've done something wrong.
I even wonder if my testing is in question. I feel like the part was
mine to lose today. And I may have done just that.