March 7, 2001
OK. This is it. This is the big time. I'm only two steps away from being back on a television show. I have a good grasp of this character and these sides. I am right for the role. I can make this very funny. I just need to convince two rooms full of people of the same thing.
This morning was the studio test, the first room full of people. Unfortunately, it was a room full of quiet, quiet people. If they were being moved by my words to silence, that would be one thing. But as my second line left my mouth and I tried my frist little Ducey moment of comedy, I felt the air leave the room. No laughs, no titters, no smirks even, as far as I could tell. Just cold.
Then I was basically stuck there listening to the sound of my voice for the next 60 seconds. This audition, which had been so "fun" to do over the past few auditions suddenly turned ugly. And I don't think I did all that badly, even with the absence of response. They didn't seem to like was I was doing, no, but I thought I put together all of my important beats and jokes the way I had wanted to. When the panic starts to hit, though, it can be hard to tell.
And so, no more testing today. They decided that I would "not be going forward," as the expression goes. Whatever they didn't like about me, they didn't like it but good. I have been removed from the mix for this afternoon's network test.
Sucks.