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Greg |
Jason |
Jesse |
Sean |
Eric |
Christian |
February 21, 2001
Q: What do these six men have in common...?
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Greg |
Jason |
Jesse |
Sean |
Eric |
Christian |
A: They all had a chance today to audition for the lead role in Kevin Williamson's new pilot, Glory Days, which is one of the best pilots I have ever read.
Q: Who did not get to audition for that role today?
A: 
I am sure everyone wishes they were more attractive at different times in their lives. Today, as I looked down the list of pretty boys reading for the lead in this pilot, my heart ached for a slightly smaller nose or a stronger chin or bluer eyes or a bigger smile. What? What would it take to be in the category of boys that would be considered for the lead role of Mike Dolan?
Yesterday I auditioned for Mike Dolan. I prepared both scenes so thoroughly I might as well have been opening my one-man audition show on Broadway that night. I loved the role, I loved the show, and I was perfect for it. I met with Greg around noon and only got to read one of the two scenes. Never fear, I thought. If I get called back for this, both scenes will finally get their moment in the sun.
Later in the day, I was out and received a phone call from my agent. I did, in fact, have a callback for Glory Days. Same sides, same place, today at 4:15pm. I was literally on Cloud 9. Not figuratively. Not that I was really happy. I mean, literally. I located Cloud #9 and I found a joyous place to hang out on it. I made sure that my agent had put the details on my machine so that I would have them when I got home. No problem.
At home, problem. I played the machine, I heard my agents voice, I heard her tell me that I had a callback today. Then I heard this, "Same sides, same place, 4:15pm, for Sheriff Rudy." Sheriff Rudy? Obviously there has been some sort of clerical error down at the ol' agency. I auditioned for Mike, the lead. If I am supposed to read from the same sides, like you say, then I will be auditioning for Mike again. What is this Sheriff Rudy nonsense?
A few calls to the agent and to the casting director later, it was confirmed. I would be going any further as a candidate for the role of Mike. Turns out I was not so perfect for it. The powers that be have decided that I would never be approved by the network for this role. Tough words to hear. But when I arrived at the audition today and saw the sign-in sheet with all of the latest hotties, I knew why my number was not going to come up.
And I just wanted to barge into the room and ask them what they think they are doing considering all of these talentless bodies with pretty faces who have countless canceled TV shows and failed movies to their collective credit? Why do they deserve yet another chance to "disprove" themselves? And how sad that the real victim is going to be this wonderful script? Why turn a potential hit into a disaster because you went with the long hair and radiant eyes? Look a little deeper, for Chrissake. America will watch someone who is slightly imperfect.
And then I remembered that I was on a canceled TV show and in, basically, no movies and decided I would be better off hanging out in the waiting room until they allowed me a shot at Sheriff Rudy.
And I took my shot at Sheriff Rudy. And it was a good shot at that. I did a good job with the two Sheriff Rudy scenes. They were a little tricky because the first one is over-the-top. I did what I thought made sense with it. I got a few chuckles from the ladies gathered in the room, and even a "nice preparation" from one as I was leaving.
If only you could have seen what else I had prepared.
