March 23, 1999
I was sitting in the waiting area. (I was waiting in the sitting area?) Anyway, the guy who signed in after me to read for the 'sleazy agent/lawyer' grabbed one of the scripts and then planted himself in front of the mirror and began saying the lines over and over, all the time watching himself deliver the lines. Now I'm not sure if that's how Brando started, but there is little that's more ridiculous-looking than a grown man in a suit standing four inches from a mirror watching his lip and eye movements to see what effects he can create.
And so it began: the downward spiral of mental energy that always sabotages me by the time I get in front of the camera for a commercial audition. Why am I there? Why does this guy probably book more commercials than me (i.e., one)? Please tell me my future doesn't include me standing in front of a mirror seeing how my face looks when I am playing 'surprise.' And then the commercial audition banter began around me. A room full of insecure men trying desparately to sound cool and funny as they chat with each other and with the casting person and director of the spot. My heart cringes, my stomach turns, and I try to keep reminding myself that I don't have to become that to do a good job. And then I remember that I've never done any job as far as commercials are concerned. And so the entire 45-minute wait becomes this ping-pong match in my brain between wanting to be there and wanting to be absolutely anywhere else.
Each 'agent/lawyer' was reading the scene with an 'athlete.' The goal
was to be smarmy. Not too bright and all too smarmy. It was the end
of the day and they had run out of athletes. So one young man was
staying in the room and reading the role of the athlete over and over
again. By the time I went in, it was his fifth time through the
script. He did his duty. I played my part, wondering how the next guy
was going to function without a mirror in the room. And I thought it
went well. I often do in these commercial audition situations. The
die-hard 'athlete' even seemed to give me a little special
recognition as I wrapped up, which I like to interpret as him being
genuinely more impressed with me than the previous four
'agent/lawyers.' In truth, he was most likely just trying to be that
cool, hip actor at the end of a commercial audition, being chummy and
upbeat. But let's go with the first interpretation. It just feels better.