March 15, 1999
I signed in and filled out a size card. The usual. Eventually the gentleman running the audition emerged from the studio and called out three names: "Peter, John, David." Now I knew who had signed in after me and it was not David so I didn't think he meant me but I started slowly walking towards him with my stuff. Peter and David were already giving him their headshots and size cards. "Peter, John, and David," he said again. Still not sure whom he wanted, I responded, "I'm a John." That seemed to satisfy him so I gave him my stuff. He looked down at it. "Only one size card?" he said. Oh God. "Did I forget to read something?" I asked, knowing full well what the answer would be. He pointed to the sign right near the sign-in sheet that read, 'Please sign in and fill out two 2 size cards.' He gave me back my stuff and went back into the studio without me. I sat down and filled out another size card.
Something happened while I was filling out this bonus card that I missed, but the next thing I knew he was calling for John again. I walked up to him with my stuff as before, only this time I was armed with twice as many filled-out size cards. "No, not you," he said to me this time. And as he disappeared back into the studio with a different John, I asked after him, "What? Do I have to fill out three size cards now?" I could hear him laugh as he shut the door.
Peter, John, and David finished up and left the studio. The auditioner then came out and yelled, "John, are you ready?" I told him I was and he called out for two more people to go in with me. I approached again with my stuff and this time handed him my headshot and about 30 size cards. Luckily he got it and laughed, putting back the extra 28 cards.
All we had to do for the audition was talk about something that bugs us. I did a chunk of stand-up about not being able to use portable electronic devices on a plane during take-off and landing. It went fine. No one died from laughing. At least I had more fun than I usually do on commercial auditions. Still waiting to book one, though.