Audition report--

• February 16, 1999
  

• "Owen's Open"
  
• cd Megan Foley
  
• Aud for BUSINESSMAN

Poor little Richard. I first saw him running across the street as I was approaching the casting office. There was something about him that just didn't appeal to me. Perhaps each little thing that irked me is silly, but taken in toto you can't ignore the preponderence of the evidence.

• He had on what appeared to be a felt sport coat and some fitted pants around his somewhat pudgy body.
  

• He scurried quickly over the pavement as the cars brushed past him, appearing to be the only person I have ever seen tiptoe and run at the same time.
  
• He signed in just before me, making careful note to put his SAG number where they ask for your social security number on the sign-in sheet, a somewhat anal maneuver to thwart the possibility of social security fraud.
  
• He sat and poured over the script with fervor. We were soon paired up and told we were next. When I asked if he wanted to run the 10-line scene, he felt he still needed some time to study it, and did so for much longer than anyone who first language is English should have.
  
• When we began reading the scene together, it became apparent that he had studied a certain technique I have seen occasionally: when the other person is talking, you don't look at your script, you just look at him until it sounds like he's done. And the way you tell that is that no one's talking for a while. At that point you look back at your script, find where you were, and continue. So while the other person's talking, you're always in the moment, you're always in his moment basically. We went through the scene like that once or twice. Slowly. Painfully.
  
• Richard eventually added some quirky gestures and expressions to represent the wealth of emotions he was going through, all out of the 'Book of Commercial Audition Expressions.'
  
• When we went in, he asked how to pronouce something in the copy: 'HR' Should I say "H-R"? Is that how its pronounced? Now, maybe I'm coming down way too hard on Richard, but what were the chances it was pronounced "Hurrrrr"? And are there any other options I'm overlooking?
  
• We did the scene twice, the second time through the gentleman running the audition asked if he could see more of the relationship between us. I don't think Richard changed a thing. I don't know who's moment he was in but it wasn't ours.
  
• As we left the room, Richard overenthusiastically remarked, "That was a lot of fun! Thanks a lot!" Shivers ran up and down my spine.
  
• I crossed the street and was walking past Richard's car when he came bounding across the street himself. He looked at me wide-eyed and unnaturally chipper and yelled/asked, "That went fun, right!?" Despite the use of 'fun' as an adverb, I didn't want to burst his bubble. "Yeah, that went well," I replied, but as the sound of the 'l' in well was leaving my mouth, he retorted, "Huh!?" So I tried to spell out more clearly what a great job he did and how great and fun everything had been for the two of us and what a shame it was that it all had to come to an end.

I'm sure he'll be the guy they hire.

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